7 ways you could be making yourself unhappy
Real happiness is closer than you think. As corny as it sounds, it really does come from within.
It comes from how you see the world and what you focus on.
Your mind creates the reality you live in, so if you only see the negatives in the world, that’s all you’ll get. But, if you focus on the positives around you too, then you’ll experience that as well.
When you live with anxiety and depression it can feel that there are only negatives in the world. But, even if you don't realise it, It's ALL there and you choose what you focus on. The problem is that your anxiety and depression have tainted your view of the world so that you only see the negatives now. So, if you are going to heal you're going to have to force that change in perception till it becomes your natural way of thinking.
That's the best way to find real internalised happiness. You'll need to work through any obstacles that may be holding you back from your happiness.
When you work on these obstacles you'll start to see massive changes in your life.
You'll get closer to your goals and you'll start seeing more positives in the world.
You effectively change the way you see the world so that you can create your own happiness.
What are these obstacles?
1 - you're sabotaging your success and happiness
Self-sabotage is easily one of the most frustrating obstacles to success you can encounter. You work your heart out setting up and creating everything you need to succeed at your project, only to find yourself stalling like an old car at the last minute with nothing holding you back but yourself.
You may not even know you are doing it, but self-sabotage can be a terribly destructive force in your life. You can find a solution to almost any external obstacle, but what do you do when you are your own obstacle? How on earth do you fix that?
How do you stop self-sabotage?
The first thing you need to do is to figure out how your self-sabotage manifests. Then you need to confront it head-on and break the lies that your fearful mind has told you.
Self-sabotage can take many forms, but for most people, it takes the form of self-doubt, procrastination, or limiting beliefs.
2 - Your sticking to a flawed mindset
When you live with anxiety and depression it can be very easy to get stuck in an 'either/or' mentality.
You think that you either succeed or you don't. You’re either happy or you’re not.
A fixed mindset tells you that there is no hope and that you will not succeed. It tells you that you’re not capable of handling the task ahead.
This is a flawed mindset.
If you ever want to find happiness then you need to realise that the world is full of grey areas and that a really good thing.
Once you internalise that you'll start to see all the joys and opportunities in your life.
3 - You don't feed your soul
It’s no secret that when you do what you enjoy you feel happier. But somewhere in the madness of the world and everything that’s expected from us, it’s easy to forget about this simple principle.
We invest so much time and energy into everything and everyone around us that we forget to make time for what feeds our soul.
If you want to find your happy space again then you need to make time for things that make you happy. It's as simple as that, and complicated as that.
If you feel lost about what brings you joy now, then it’s a good idea to take some time to reflect. Dig deep and think about what you would like to do to create your own happiness. Don't let yourself get confused by other people’s idea of fun.
Be true to you and you alone.
4 - You forget to find joy in the big, and small things
This may be one of the most difficult things to get right but if you manage it, it will bring your life peace, meaning and balance that you crave.
Life isn't about chasing some idea of the ‘perfect’ life, with a big house lots of gadgets and 3 kids. There are plenty of people out there with all these things who are still incredibly miserable.
Why?
Because these are all external factors, and real happiness comes from within. It comes from taking pleasure in the small things in life. The things that might seem insignificant right now, can actually help you find happiness in your life.
5 - You forget about finding your purpose and joy through your work.
There are so many people out there who are deeply unhappy with their job or career path. When you consider that you spend at least 8 hours a day at work, then you realise how important it is to find the type of job or career that fulfils you and brings you joy.
Work can be a very rewarding experience in your life, and this in turn creates a sense of happiness and purpose within you.
When you feel useful, needed and rewarded for your efforts, depression starts to take a back seat.
Finding your purpose might take time and effort, but the joy and happiness it adds to your life will be worth all that effort.
6 - You don't notice the little joys
Have you ever noticed that your happiest memories are of the most random things? You never know when a memory will stick in your mind as a happy moment till years later when you reflect back on it. These are the kind of ‘little joys’ I’m talking about.
They don't make up a massive part of your lives, they don't take giant chunks of your time or effort, but somehow they bring us unbelievable amounts of joy.
While finding a sense of purpose is an important part of finding your happiness, there’s more to life than your work.
There are little things that happen every day that have the potential to bring you moments of joy, if you take the time to notice them, that is.
Anxiety and depression can dull your senses and stop you from seeing these little moments when they happen. But you have the power to change that.
When you make a habit of noticing the beauty around you, you'll start to notice more and more of it.
But you need to make a conscious effort to see all the beauty around you, remember the good memories, embrace the joy of the little things and be grateful for the gifts that you have in your life.
7 - You compare yourself to others
A lot of our unhappiness comes from being so obsessed with how others are doing and what they have achieved, that we forget how much we have achieved and how we are doing in life.
You end up comparing their finishing point with your starting point. You might see them succeeding where you fail or compare their end achievement with your progress when you’re only just getting started.
This type of comparison will wear you down and get you nowhere.
The real truth is that everyone encounters difficulties, no one is perfect and no one has it easy.
We all have our strengths and weaknesses. And we all experience difficulties in life, some people just hide it very well.
Happiness isn't found in the things you own, the house you live in or even the people you know. Real happiness comes from within and how you perceive the world.
This also means that when you find it, no one can take it away from you.
Real happiness doesn't just fall into your lap, you need to work on it.
And as you take on all the challenges that life brings you it’s important to remember that another person’s success is not your failure. And another person’s failure is not your success. Life is an all you can eat buffet and you can achieve a win-win.
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