The real truth about Rumination vs reflection
In small doses, rumination and worry are normal, and it happens to everyone. When you lose a job it’s normal to ruminate about what you may have done wrong. It's Normal when your mind pops up those unpleasant memories and thoughts resulting in a kind of flashback where you relive the emotions you felt at the time, especially if the memory is fresh.
What’s not normal is when we start becoming obsessed with those ruminations.
Rumination is when you tend to think about things that happened to you in the past that cause you emotional pain. You don’t plan for it to happen, it just kind of pounces on you.
Rumination is usually brought on by a trigger which is something that reminds you of that painful experience.
The worst part is that there never seems to be any conclusion to the thought processes involved in rumination.
You might think that by reliving that event and the emotions attached to it, you’ll be able to solve it like it's some sort of problem, but it's not and you can’t. That’s just not how rumination works.
What you’re thinking of is reflection.
So, what's the difference between rumination and reflection?
So, how do you know if you’re experiencing rumination or just reflecting on the past in a healthy way?
Well, first of all, reflection is a conscious practice.
That means that you sat down with your diary and a cup of tea and wanted to explore why you feel a certain way about a certain person or place or situation.
You know you’re not reliving that scenario and you want to analyse it from a distance, without getting pulled into the emotions of it all. This is what reflection looks and feels like.
Rumination on the other hand can feel like it comes out of nowhere. It pounces on you and comes with a surge of negative emotions and thoughts that aren’t easy to shake off. In fact sometimes you feel compelled to go deeper into that rumination, as though the only way out is through.
When it comes to rumination there’s no real point in going deeper into that rumination, you just feel like you ‘have to’. Questions like ’why’ and ‘what if’ start to pop up and you start to explore different scenarios, all the while feeling bitter or hurt that things didn’t end up a particular way, or that you didn’t make ‘that’ decision.
But, reflection on the other hand, is when you intentionally think about something while keeping the present as your frame of reference. You do this when you’re processing a certain event or figuring out what you did wrong in the past and what you can do to fix it in the future.
So, for example if you and your partner had an argument, you could sit down and think about where that argument started. Did you say something that hurt him/her or did he/she say something that hurt you. Why did it hurt so much? Or why did you say what you said?
This is reflecting.
Ruminating would be replaying the fight over and over in your mind, with no real analysis being done. The only thing you’re doing is reliving all the emotions you felt at the time and allowing them to sink into the way you shape your thoughts in the future.
When you reflect you might come to the conclusion that the situation you were in was toxic and it’s better to leave.
With rumination you go over every situation in that toxic relationship over and over looking for a reason that you can’t see because you are blinded by the emotions you feel about that situation.
The real problem is that ruminating on the negative becomes a habit in your mind, and every time you do it you start feeling those negative emotions all over again.
When you allow your negative thoughts to fester they break you down a little more each time. Eventually affecting your mental health and entire life.
Dangers of rumination
Those ruminations about ‘what you did wrong’ can easily develop into negative thoughts if we’re not careful. If you’ve lost your job, you might start thinking that you’re useless and can’t do anything right. This leads to a cycle of negative self-talk that perpetuates the rumination and further stresses us out.
Rumination can bring on all sorts of negative thoughts that start breaking you down and chipping away at your self-esteem and self-confidence. It can make you change the way you see yourself and it can break you down so much that it can even cause the onset of depression.
What’s worse is that rumination is a vicious cycle- you ruminate because of something that happened in the past. This breaks your confidence down and you give up on goals & doubt yourself. This leads to more rumination about decisions you make as a result, and this eventually paralyses you.
Rumination also amplifies the feeling of hopelessness and depression, which can lead to suicidal feelings, anxiety, binge eating, binge drinking and self harm.
Negative thoughts take our attention away from the life we are living right now. They steal your focus away from the real world. When you get too invested in them you lose track of your life.
How do we stop ruminating?
Your mind can be so difficult to control that it can sometimes feel like it has a mind of its own.
If you’ve ever tried meditating deeply for the first time then you know what I mean. The moment you tell your mind not to think, then a million and one thoughts pop into your head. It’s like trying to dig a hole in the beach - it just keeps filling up with sand.
So, simply telling yourself to stop ruminating isn't going to work at all.
Thankfully there are strategies out there to effectively stop rumination.
If you're ready to revitalize your thinking from negative to positive vibes, kick obsessive thought cycles to the curb, ditch self-criticism for self-compassion, and upgrade emotional health and mental clarity then my ebook " How to stop Negative Self-Talk" is for you.
In this ebook you’ll learn how and why rumination happens as well as how to stop it and why those strategies work so well. You’ll also get worksheets and journal prompts at each step to help you apply those strategies.
Click to learn more about this ebook >>
If you’re looking for something more and you're ready to revamp how you deal with stress, find clarity in your life's purpose, boost your self-esteem and shower yourself with self-compassion then my “The Zen of Living” ebook bundle is exactly what you need.
In this collection of powerful strategies and expert insights you’ll learn how to overcome negative self-talk, break the cycle of overthinking, and conquer social anxiety. Free yourself from the clutches of overwhelm.
Learn more ⇩⇩⇩
Next Up
.
The easiest way to stop ruminating and start living -->