New reasons for you to stop ruminating
When you’re going through rumination it might not feel so bad at the time. Sure you might feel down, sad or even stressed out, but it’s just like any other memory that comes up in your head, right?
Wrong.
While you may think that rumination is just overthinking and reacting to something painful that happened to you, it’s so much more destructive than you may realise.
what is rumination?
Rumination is when you tend to think about things that happened to you in the past that cause you emotional pain. You don’t plan for it to happen, it just kind of pounces on you and it’s usually brought on by a trigger which is something that reminds you of that painful experience.
Rumination brings on all sorts of negative thoughts that start breaking you down and chipping away at your self-esteem and self-confidence.
What’s worse, it doesn’t just remind you of that painful situation you went through, it brings up all sorts of negative emotions which eventually leads to some really dangerous negative self-talk which can lead to depression, anxiety, self-harm, addictive behaviour and even suicide.
It’s like having a bully living right in your head, breaking you down 24/7.
What’s worse is that rumination is a vicious cycle-
you ruminate because of something that happened in the past.
This breaks your confidence down and you give up on goals & doubt yourself.
This leads to more rumination and eventually paralyses you.
These negative thoughts eventually take your attention away from the life you’re living right now. They steal your focus away from the real world and when you get too invested in them you lose track of your life.
That’s why it's so important to stop rumination in its tracks before it gets out of hand.
How does rumination become depression?
How does a simple memory become rumination?
When that memory about a painful situation comes up and we experience all the negative emotions associated with it, like shame, embarrassment, anger at ourselves or the situation; we start to feel that if we explore that thought deeper we’ll be able to find some kind of solution.
We might feel that there’s something we’re missing and if we just go over it again we’ll find that missing clue that will help us make sense of everything.
When we ruminate, that memory and those emotions come up again and again on autopilot. And all those negative emotions come along with it.
When we pay too much attention to those negative emotions they become stronger and stronger and they turn into negative self-talk.
You start convincing yourself that you’re useless/ ugly/ talentless (or whatever it is that your negative self-talk talls you)
We start to believe that this negative self-talk actually reflects who we are and we internalize it and It starts to break us down and in this way leads to depression.
Nasty effects of rumination:
- makes you feel depressed for longer,
- Breaks down your self-esteem and self-confidence,
- affects your ability to problem solve,
- can lead to anxiety, depression.
How do we stop ruminating?
Your mind can be so difficult to control that it can sometimes feel like it has a mind of its own.
If you’ve ever tried meditating deeply for the first time then you know what I mean. The moment you tell your mind not to think, then a million and one thoughts pop into your head. It’s like trying to dig a hole in the beach - it just keeps filling up with sand.
So, simply telling yourself to stop ruminating isn't going to work at all.
Thankfully there are strategies out there to effectively stop rumination.
Here’s a little fun fact about me. Rumination almost ruined my life.
A few years ago I was in such a bad state that I couldn't even drive or talk to strangers.
My rumination had broken my self-esteem and self-confidence down to nothing and I really felt like nothing. I felt worthless and I was depressed and suicidal. I used to break myself down all the time, thinking about the past and feeling useless. This held me back which only made me feel even more useless.
When I look back at how helpless my own mind made me, it makes me so angry to think of all those years Iost because I didn't feel strong enough to go after the life I wanted - all because of my rumination.
My turning point was when I decided to start healing myself. I had been going to a psychologist for more than a year with very little change, so I decided to take things into my own hands. I started to research what was going on with me as well as the strategies I could use to get myself out of the depression I felt.
After diving into every self-help book I could find, I finally found the kind of strategies I needed to stop those ruminating thoughts. Even though I didn’t quite believe in them at the time I put all my effort into applying those strategies. I figured that I had nothing to lose by trying.
Well, I can honestly say that that decision changed my life forever. No exaggeration.
My self-esteem started healing and I don't ever hold myself back or break myself down anymore. I don’t ruminate anymore and I honestly feel like a different person. And seriously I've never looked back.
I’m confident, calm, happy and just so grateful for the journey I took to get here.
(This is why I started Design Your Life, and why I write my ebooks. I want to give others the hope I found for myself)
In my ebook “How to stop negative self-talk” I share all the strategies I used to transform negative thought patterns into more positive and constructive ones.
Learn more about this ebook here >>
If you or someone you know is battling with rumination and depression then this is where you need to start. I explain how and why rumination happens as well as how to stop it and why those strategies work so well.
If you're looking for something with more impact and you’re ready to revamp how you deal with stress, find clarity in your life's purpose, boost your self-esteem and shower yourself with self-compassion then my “The Zen of Living” ebook bundle is exactly what you need.
In this collection of powerful strategies and expert insights you’ll learn how to overcome negative self-talk, break the cycle of overthinking, and conquer social anxiety. Free yourself from the clutches of overwhelm.
Imagine being able to completely silence the negative self-talk, stop self-sabotage, self-doubt and self-limiting beliefs and put an end to overthinking for good. It starts right here.
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